Trust

This word was in my mind for some time, and I think I had touch on it before. A spate of events has brought this word to the surface again.

The many unpleasant exchanges over cpf have been distasteful, to put it mildly. In a fb post, scy attributed the controversies to 'trust', or the lack thereof. That struck me. Yes, when the seed of doubt is sown, trust, if it was in the first place shallow, gets eroded and leads to unrestfulness, anxiety and a compulsion for action. Again, this is really an understatement of the vehement reaction.

Was I affected? To say I have blanket trust, no, I haven't. But to say I was shaken, no, I was not. Trust is built when one delivers according to one's word. Over the decades, there had been speculations and ominous whispering of the same nature except, not so explicit, and not so loud. But I never doubted, because the present government had always delivered in this aspect. No one had failed to draw out when the stipulated time to do so arrived. Whatever my personal disagreements over policies, including the use of cpf when one is in dire straits (as I had when dad had stroke) I have always been thankful for cpf. Without the compulsion to save, I think I would be much much poorer. True, I had to work alot harder, and tighten my belt very badly, but I got through. The obligations to provide for others (and how much provision is enough?) would have drained all that I had, if cpf did not protect me, in a way that I could not and would not have protected myself. The guilt of never doing enough, of the plight of others would not have allowed me to save at such a level. Cpf benefits those who are responsible, more than those who are not. And I can name with ease quite a few that I know would have squandered off the cpf savings in no time. And who have to bear the weight for their endless needs and grouses? Yes, cpf protects the responsible, the dutiful.

I did not bother to read the defamatory article. I saw it before it was raised at the legal level and after it attain to 'fame', all the more i didn't bother. One look at the headlines and I think I can have better use of my time. There were other issues that were raised subsequently pointing to other facets of the argument by others that did set me thinking. The many postulation of what-if..... and the insinuations.... for a few moments, I did consider those arguments.

My conclusion is, if trust were betrayed, then really that would also be the end of the country. There has to be some trust. And trust must be valued against what had and has been. When I weigh against the multitude of realities, I choose to rest the case in my mind. People who can conjure complicated and convoluted schemes to depict a different reality, must be as complicated and convoluted as the schemes they attribute to others.

I may have deep misgivings over many policies, but in areas where trust is warranted, I wont budge.

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So what is trust?

It is not a one party affair, as in the party that calls for trust is the single element that has to proved itself trustworthy. Apart from the party on whom trust is vested, the other party, i.e. the person who bestow the trust (or not bestow the trust) is equally important. The state of the person, and the experiences he/she encountered that allow/disallow him/ her to trust.

A child is trusting. He believes in all things (almost) good. He doesn't believe he will be harmed. In like manner, the young, the old and the naive are the same and sadly, often the targets of scams. So trust needs discernment.

There are those that because of their role and relations, we trust. And when there is betrayal of trust, the scar is permanent. Its one thing to be scammed by outsiders, its totally another thing to have trust manipulated for one's gain. Irreparable.

When there is distrust in any relationship/friendship, I guess it can never go beyond a certain point, especially if it is a relation that is really not a choice, but due to status. 

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The lack of trust is often played upon by manipulators. So deep is the innate need in each being to trust another, that when that trust is shaken, one feels insecure, betrayed, the fear of being hurt, and anger stirred because of the hurt can cause anarchy. When one sees the 'political' game, and the voices of speculators playing on the fears of others, it is really sad. Frankly, despicable. Because alot can be lost. 

It takes a long time to build. It takes a moment to destroy. And some destruction can be devastating. 

The reasons why people can be swayed are often the same reasons why people (especially in Singapore) like to complain. I have wanted to write on this, from the many observations. Will do so, another time.

What is needed is self awareness. Aware of your own limits, your own weakness, your own fears, your own inhibitions. Aware of how one's own vulnerabilities help one to take steps to protect. Constant exercise of the mind, consider, read, inquire in a non-reactionary manner will sharpen one's judgement. 

A chain is as strong as its weakest link.