One week into 2012

One week into 2012. I have to admit I feel sad. Very. Whether I show or not, I am. Of course, I didnt show.

In all that I do, I put my whole being in. I dont know how not to. It is true, in life, we have our favourites. People say we shouldnt. But thats not possible. Favouritism is only wrong if it leads to biasness, and neglecting of others.

So every child is important. And I feel it for each one of them, as and when I know of their pathway. Rejoicing with them in their joys; and feeling their pain in their downsittings. I looked forward to every news of each of my kids...

at this moment, there is a well of sadness...

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at my own end, things have been pleasant. settled in well in the new place. The people I have to communicate with were all nice, and respectful. When issues were raised, the positive approach, receptiveness and immediate responses took me by surprise. So, despite the long travelling, it really was pleasant. Definitely much better than I have expected, and i am grateful.

Kids, are always lovable in their own way. Every child is important. So, whatever the differences in traits or content, the heart of teaching remains what it is. To nurture. To educate.

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Direction for dissertation is begin to be clearer. I must say my lecturer cum supervisor, L, is very 'on'. We have already met twice for over 4 hours, and she is definitely pushing me into deep reading. Her drive and passion is very motivating. The problem is I have difficulty matching up... ultimately I am always distracted by teaching and kids.

But, I would have to insulate myself more and focus. It is not merely trying to complete the Masters in the shortest period ie within this year. It also may set the pathway for things ahead. Discipline is not my strength. Partly because I cant do things for myself. That is not sufficient motivation for me. And for personal 'glory' or achievement is also meaningless. I have to try to see that the project could well turn out to be meaningful for the education profession. Actually it is, or could be. Whatever. I must.

I am thankful that both L and tls are supportive and have been guiding me closely. This is quite unusual for me, since that is the role I usually play. So, I really must get myself into higher gear.

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I wish I had not commit myself to so many miscellaneous tasks. Although it all has to do with teaching, the approaches are so diverse. O well, I suppose at the end, I hope to find my direction...or at least rule out what I know I definitely would not want.

ssh, must really get organised, and buck up....===============================================

and i hope, i really hope all would be well....