New Year....

I cant say I really feel much about the start of another year. Though I am starting quite a few things really new this year, and in unknown areas, I dont know aht to feel about them. Alot of things to adapt to, and perhaps age is a mental obstacle. Again, it may be because of my own pessimistic disposition. My lecturer pointed that out, that I keep seeing difficulties, the things I think I cant do.

Actually I do know that of myself, but it is always helpful when someone 'rapped' you about it. I remembered part of the reason why I wanted to blog was to keep reminding myself to be positive. To set an example for the kids. So no matter how 'down' things seem, must take a deep breath, see things positively, and move forward.

Its like driving also. I hate to drive to unknown places. But if I dont, almost every place will remain unknown. I am thankful for people who keep encouraging me to break the mental barrier. But encouragement is pointless if one doesnt act on it. Same as advice.

So, taking the 'rap' from my lecturer, and her advice, I am embarking on the dissertation route. Its going to be tough. I thought the magnitude of the project was much bigger than I wanted. But hopefully it would be meaningful. Then I need to pick up more education research skills, and I am offered some part-time task to work on it. I am a little relunctant. I guess part of the reason is because it will take me one step further away from my love in teaching.

But I have to ask myself realistically, how long will I be respected in teaching? Will there be a time when I can no longer reach out to kids because i lack the life and energy as I get older? It is terrible to see kids treating elders with condescension. With adults, I have definitely see it. Someone actually coined the acronym 'gg' whenever our views differ. And gg stands for 'generation gap'. I often wonder how do one teach respect to others when they themselves cant show respect to fellow beings. Example is better than precept. I will take alot of nonsense from kids. But adults, well......

So, realistically, well, I do need to consider alternatives. Ironically, my first career choice was to do research. Still, I should be thankful to have alternatives. So this 'new' year will be a year of diversity. Perhaps its my sentimentalism ~ 太过念旧。Yes, i will miss the kids terribly once term starts. And it is starting tomorrow. And all the warmth and familiarity that I have left behind....

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Starting anew has its fears. I was beginning to panic that I am far from ready, and looking into what I should bring tmr, when I remembered ld getting alot of packed stationery for me. I had seen the items, but when I opened up the box again just now, I realised how thoughtful he was. He remembered that I was going to a new environment, and would probably need to build up my stationery resource again. He thought of everything, even labelling them with my name, so that they will come back to me when misplaced. I am really quite a scatter brain in some things, and he being my 'neighbour' had been my provider... and he ensured that I would have the essentials for my next lap. What a lovely chap!

And as I rummaged through my things, I realised I have so many things, so many thoughtful and sweet gifts, honestly, I have alot alot. Its not the gifts. Its the people that have been so thoughtful.

Its good to count one's blessings.....very good indeed.

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There is no need to make new year resolutions... I suddenly recall a song "Try a little kindness"

"If you see your brother standing by the road
With a heavy load from the seeds he's sowed
And if you see your sister falling by the way
Just stop and say you're going the wrong way
You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness

Just shine your light for everyone to see
And if you try a little kindness
Then you'll overlook the blindness
Of narrow-minded people on the narrow-minded streets

Don't walk around the down and out
Lend a helping hand instead of doubt
And the kindness that you show every day
Will help someone along their way
You got to try a little kindness
Yes show a little kindness

This is a good resolution all the year round....