Friends....

A few persons touch me the last two days, and taught me many things about friendship.....



Volks got into trouble, barely 2 weeks before she will be exchanged for C4. Not that i am happy about the exchange..I really like volks...but she was giving me alot of problems and it is really time to change as it no longer make economic and practical sense....but she was unhappy, and flashed her warning signal. lcl was catching a ride from me to mrt, but i had the feeling volks was not going to be cajoled. thankfully ncl was still around, and my first call for help.



after discussion, we decided its best to send volks to mechanics at pandan loop. its ten min drive...shd make it. ncl said he will 'escort' me. lcl followed him and he drove in front of me. i knew volks was getting weak and true enough at pandan loop junction, she refused to move. ncl was just in front at the traffic light. He stopped his car, and came down to help direct traffic held up by volks. I didnt quite know what to do, and contacted mechanic. They took quite awhile to come..both ncl and lcl stayed with me.

I felt really bad. I told them since mechanic is coming, i will be able to handle...actually not true, i really felt awful and really wanted to cry, but i didnt want to be a burden.....

i saw ncl hesitated...but he decided he will stay on...mechanic men came and managed to revive volks......its just another 4 minutes drive...surely volks will hold up, so i bravely said yes, i will drive on, and ncl said he will still escort me... this time lcl got into my car...i think they saw i was not steady....tho i was still calm...


to get to mechanic workshop, we needed to go up a stretch of highway and make a u turn down....and at the U turn, ncl turned, but traffic light turned red, and volks wont move anymore. and there were 2 huge trucks behind....honestly i was too tired to feel anything....lcl got down and tried to tell the drivers behind....the men behind got down, and talked to lcl...they wanted to push my car to make the u turn and get to the other side of the road....they were really friendly malays...i couldnt lock the gear to neutral, and they shook the car, and somehow it worked....they told me dont worry, we know what to do....by then, i was rattled also, so lcl took over and they got the car the other side of the highway....i then called the mechanic again...and waited. lcl tried to entertain me with stories.i know its his way of showing he cares...

meantime ncl called and realised volks wont move again....

after awhile, i saw ncl walking toward my car....he came back to look for me and parked his car somewhere down the highway and walked back to where i was....

i cant say how touched i was that he did that. He really neednt. I told him i have called the mechanic. Honestly no one can do anything....but he did the one thing he knew i needed....moral support by his presence....

i was worried for his car which he just left by the road...he did that earlier, then volks was just behind him...now no one really can do anything and its not safe along the highway....he really neednt at all do this again...

ncl's mum just died last monday. over dec his mum also went down badly, and she is only 62. both of us started term with heavy spirit.....

when i messaged him to thank him for his kindness and brotherly support, he said that was the least he could do....its strange, that the ones that do so much feel they do little.....yet there are others who could have just done a little to help alleviate distress, and wont even do that little bit...

i am very sad to end my companionship with volks in such an unceremonious way...and really wished she wont play up at such a time when i really need her as C4 is really not ready yet....but via her, i know who cares.....

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without volks, its not easy to get anywhere, much less to and fro school esp with laptop. Its not easy to get cab, and today it was raining cats and dogs in the evening...

i chanced into ht and he said he wld be leaving after cca so can give me a ride to somewhere convenient....i just wanted to get to where i can get a direct bus or catch a cab. ht was going to fetch his children for tuition....we always banter with one another, and 4 of us, he, me, ncl, kyc regard one another as buddies...


so we were bantering all the way to his car and it was quite rowdy and funny. Once i got in, i was more myself, and just said to him i had a traumatising time the morn. He asked what happened and i told him I saw to my mum's discharge this morning...for all my calm exterior, i was really traumatised, but had to get back to school to do what needs to be done....

ht has gone thru the period of looking after his folks...he understood....there was traffic jam....i asked him to drop me at mrt...he decided to drive me back...no amount of scolding, etcetc changed his mind...i feel bad cos his children had to go tuition on their own....

not that he did it as if he was very concerned...he just did it nonchalantly as tho it was nothing, and was joking half the way.....there was another colleague and he also drove her back enroute.....i knew he did it deliberately....his way of giving support...he told me not to think too much....

i was really touched....my migraine was really bad...not that i showed at all in school....just get on with it is my philosophy....very few can see what i truly feel inside....but people who truly care dont have to see....because they care, they give support to show they care....they go the extra mile, but feel they had done nothing.....its not that we have anything really in common....its just that people who care, just care....

i know @ doesnt care, and the truth is never cared. its obvious all along. and tho i knew it all along, because i really cared alot, it still hurts....


Wed, Mdm F (see 27 dec post) msged me...asking abt mum, then told me she has been diagnosed with a relapse...i was quite upset for her. I want to see her. I want to help her through this battle....i want to be a true friend, a friend that cares....

i have been thinking of statistics....i dont want to be just a statistic....i cant make any, much difference to many, but i dont want to see life the way people see it, so statistically....i have exceptional analytical strength....but i also know no analysis touch a soul; sometimes i think becos of my relative non-achievement, i may be trying too hard to prove i have a good mind, i can contribute....but i have always known between a big heart, and a 'big' mind, it is the big heart that makes a difference.....i must not lose sight of what truly matters to me, to chase for things that i had given up....

Truly, my soul waited upon the Lord. Give me understanding that i may live and keep thy word....and grant me strength, that i may go henceforth....