tired

i am very tired. very very tired.

yes physically tired...but more. tired of always considering for others; tired of trying to do one's best; tired of thinking ahead to pre-empt; tired of keeping up standard; tired of being at the receiving end...just tired....

so tired that i actually let go and gave vent...when i usually consider and hold back, and consider...

gerlynn says pple get very emo in blogs....i dont want to. I want to be positive. I want to make each day counts... I want to redeem time and work well each day....

all it takes is a negative statement and when it hits, it hurts.....sy said if u dont regard the person as a friend, u wont get hurt....i said i will try very hard and learn not to....but it still hurts...especially when one tries so hard under trying circumstances to get things right.....

perhaps if i am not so tired, i may see things differently....

didnt want to take dinner actually, but sk says mum is coming out for dinner....at jacks place....so I pushed myself to go....when i see how frail she is, and the increasing prominence of difficulty in swallowing....it hurts even more....

however tired, when i got back....i still finished what i had to do.....no matter what, must complete my duty.

I am very tired.