Half Year Mark

Today marks the end of six months of 2013. That alone warrants a post.

Though I have always felt I am an independent thinker, I realised also how much the 'Singaporean' mentality is imbued in me. I say Singaporean because I really dont know if this mentality is universal. The mentality that there must be something that one should measure what one has done.

Not too long ago, over the haze, someone said, lets not get 'too fixated with numbers'. I thought how ironic that such a statement should be made. There is barely a day that passed that figures of sorts are  not presented in the mass media to measure 'progress', 'status', 'ranking'. If people here are 'fixated' with numbers, well, how was such a mentality bred?

So, I guess if I was to measure what I had done the past six months, it seemed rather 'blank' in terms of what is measurable.

The first two months were difficult, partly because of the transitional phases, and the many pains, within, without. I have learnt to bury the aches, and move forward, looking beyond, at the heavenly country that I seek for. Thereafter followed two months of recuperation, many thanks to the good physician that took good care to see to my recovery.
 
It has been a pleasant time, especially the last two months. Ibegin to enjoy marketing and cooking. I look forward to my walks, and my feeble attempts to 'swim' is still ongoing. I enjoy all my tuition lessons and times with the kids getting them to like math. I enjoyed my piano practices and am very happy that Chris is recovering from her operation, and best of all, the growth is benign.

I like especially all the meet ups and communications with my friends, ex colleagues and the kids. Some conversations with the kids have taken a different level as they grow up, and it is a joy to see. There have been some really good exchanges that were really meaningful.

Honestly I am glad though school reopens tomorrow, I am not part of it. Beginning of the year, I did feel sad. But now, I feel happy that I am not in the whole maze. I admit that there is a sense of loss, in that i dont know if i would ever be able to contribute to another generation of youth....but, I will not fret over it anymore. If there is a way open for me, I will take it. If not, as Cl has said, do good in whatever corner we are in.

I do realise that such a pace of life is not to be taken for granted, and that is appreciated.

Nevertheless, I hope the next six months will be more focused. Three things I hope would be completed well by the end of the year.... will not state what it is.....sigh, i guess, i dont have confidence that I would....I hope the end of 2013 post would see these goals accomplished.

And perhaps, I should include one more goal, to step out of Spore at least for a couple of days. J and kt wanted to get me out this june break, but in the end, I thought wait till end of the year. Yes, it would be good to do so.....

And i hope all my kids continue to keep well, grow well, do well for the remaining 2013.....