End of May 2013

time seems to be passing by rather fast....too fast to be productive...

the highlight of the month has got to be the kids visit yesterday. though it was arranged a week ago, i somehow didnt expect so many, and didnt expect it to be.....so nice. it was only when i saw them, that i realised how much i enjoyed the times with them, and how good it is to be amongst the kids again. i guess because i have left, because it seems remote that i will get back within these 2 years to see them graduate, i try not to think of them. Its when i see them, that i realised how much i missed them. Somehow this batch is very special, and really it is the batch that i enjoyed teaching most because they are really open to learning all the time. I still remembered a couple of lessons where i felt jubilant just to see their eyes lit up with appreciation at the elegance of a proof.....so yes, it was good to see them, all 18 of them. Would have enjoyed it even more without the pounding head! I hope this batch, like the 2011 batch, will keep in touch....looking forward to seeing smaller groups in june. :)

yes, i miss teaching.... but, not any teaching.....

caught up and met up with quite a few people, ex colleagues, old schoolmates. It is always a pleasure esp with old friends. In this category, i have only a handful of them, but they are friends worth the name. Compassionate, idealistic, civic minded....after more than 30 years, that principles and values still mattered to us....really that is a treasure....... and seeing our place in society, to contribute what good possible....we still want to care and serve.....  Like i told the kids, it is not good just to have a sharp critical mind. Together with that, there must be a largeness of heart, to forbear, to accommodate diversities, differences, and to be constructive.

i would wish that i have a greater sense of mission to propel me forward, instead of feeling somewhat directionless. Though i am thankful for the luxury of time to recover from setbacks healthwise and really hoping that there will be more progress with proactive efforts to ratify past liabilities. Have already attained a minor gain in not taking painkillers for headaches for at least 6 weeks except for the flu bout. This is a milestone. Then, there is the much time needed for practices for the piano exam. And yes, i need to get back to that d__________. sigh!  i must be more motivated.

having reached this stage of life with the few friends, we all know also that we are entering into another phase. where the inadvertent lies ahead for one or the other. Have to brace oneself to take the waves of loss as it comes...... especially those that had been special and had stood by through the storms. i know this is life. must endure.

i only wish, whatever little i have, i can give to another generation for them to live meaningfully. as and when i should have the opportunity. while i can.

and for the rest of the time, i try to keep occupied. and wonder how my kids are doing......

so ends May 2013.