and 403 again....

have been wondering if there would be a chance to gather with gerlynn's return these 3 weeks....earlier at cny, no dates were agreeable to all....with nus, smu exams, and boys army schedule...

so, that it did take place and 11 turned up, is really good. Really, really, really good for me. Its really something special to see them, everytime i see them. This is the 6 th year, but somehow that special feeling is still the same. And it was really nice that some of them took so much interest in the new dressing of the two rooms. Somehow, they are part of this place.

So, in no time, 5 hours passed. Most of them looked the same, minimum change in weight/height as well, though there were! Conversation can range from any random happenings at home, at army, at school, on the streets......whatever.... it is still the same easy flow, with plenty of squeals and laughter.....

at the end of every such gathering, my heart would sink a little, wondering when the next would be, and when things would change, as surely it would, someday....with more and more uk bound in the years to come....

but, for the moment, every such occasions are treasured. Hopefully, in june, it would be possible for another such gathering.

I did say to them, ten years from now, maybe some would come with babies?

Then again, who knows, who will be around ten years from now....

Still, i was really happy yesterday. Hadnt felt this for a long time. :)

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Yesterday was also a time where i did have more conversation with the girls. I was at ease talking to them over some medical issues. Its funny, i couldnt open up to alot of people. But with them, it was so easy. And it was helpful to hear them relate some similar cases they knew. For once, I am beginning to see them growing up.....really lovely girls.

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This morning, unexpectedly, mr soon turned up. Hadnt seen him since the week before cny. It isnt that i didnt think of calling him over some stuff, but I was always afraid that there would be a day I call, and he isnt there.....

So, seeing him, and seeing him well, I was really happy. He wasnt too well when i last saw him. Discussed with him over some things i needed done in the house, and that was a load of my mind. With him, you need only tell him what you need solved. He see to the rest.  I was also touched with his concern. I know he regard me almost as his daughter. Its nice to have such a meaningful bond build out of trust over twenty years by now.

Time is a test for alot of things.....

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I had wanted to write this post happily. But something upset me badly today.

words really are cheap. i put on record that i am very deeply disappointed.

I saw the trait long long ago. But had wanted to believe there would be a change. I really would like to believe that it would come and this situation is due to mismanagament of the past. Against my better judgement, I didnt say No absolutely. It isnt the loss that i minded. Material things never mattered to me. But it hurts, because for every young person, I really want to see them grow to responsible beings. I just hope kindness shown and sacrifice made, will somehow, somehow, somewhere in their lifetime awaken them....

I am very upset.

Yes, time is a test for alot of things....and remains a test for alot of things....