what a day may bring....

Apart from the family gatherings, cny actually doesnt mean much to me, except to see the kids. The first two days passed rather quickly to me, partly because I was helping sk with some more cooking for gatherings at her end, and partly because I was seriously aching all over.

At the end of the second day of cny, I was deciding whether to cook the curry for the kids in the night ahead of the next day. But was so tired, that I thought, rest, and get up early tomorrow. After all everything is prepared. That night, for some reason or other, I tossed and turned, and couldnt get to sleep. At 1254, I heard the message beep from my hp. If I was asleep, I would have missed it.

Because sleep was far from me, I decided to take a look at the message, which i had assumed to be some passing greetings or communications from friends. I was taken aback to see message from nephew to say B2 fainted and was on his way to hospital. Many messages followed thereafter. B2 had a heart attack, and was very unstable. I decided to make the trip to cgh rather than wait for news.  Also I felt I should be there to give ML, P and C support.

Thereafter followed a few hours of anxiety. They managed to insert a stent but with a 100% artery blocked and irregular heartbeat, there was a danger of a second heart attack. It depended on how he responded to the stent. Two doctors wont say more than that he is dangerously ill and can go either way.

I got back from cgh about 5am. In my mind, I couldnt decide whether to carry on with the gathering of the kids... about 30 is expected, and with food almsot prepared....i grabbed two hours of sleep finally decided to carry on as per normal, and started cooking in the morning. The only difference is I will end it by 4pm instead of extending to the evening.  

Meantime, getting regular updates of progress.....

Thankfully, things did stabilised, and hopefully, in a few days time, he will be discharged. I must commend the medical staff of cgh very highly for the way they handled the emergency as well as communicated with us. I will write another post on recent encounters with medical personnel....

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Because my mind was not really at the gathering, I must admit, I hardly know whats going on though I would think I was still a fairly good host. ld was fantastic. I contacted him and he was at my place by ten and stayed till the end to give me the support. I didnt know if I would be summoned to hospital by a call. And I was so tired with so little sleep, having him around gave me moral support.

Apart from the 2011 kids, the 2012 kids also turned up, ten of them. It was a pleasant surprise to see them. I guess part of the reason why the kids are all here is because they miss the company of their buddies, and this is a place for them to congregate and have their catch up sessions. In total, there would have been nearly 40 kids here. I still say kids, but they are 19 to 20 years old.

At some points, I just felt like a 'mum' providing food, and clearing up the kitchen, not part of them as they are engrossed in their own world of talk and play. Do I mind? No. Actually, I am contented and happy to play that role. That the kids are so comfortable and feel at home and want to be here, to me is the greatest compliment. I would have wished to know more about what happened to them, but I think cny is really not the time, and anyway in my befuddled mind, very little register. I think however it did not affect their enjoyment. I hope.

However blur i was, I was really happy and glad to see each of them.....and was glad i didnt cancel it. Somehow they are now part of cny.....

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At the end of the day, it was really a stunning time In a short space of less than 24 hours, a close family member should have been this near to death, and just got pulled back just in time. It is really hard to describe that shock, and feeling. Not quite sure even now, if i have recovered from that shock.  ttk was also very kind and supportive, checking regularly to find out if things were ok. Really appreciated that.

I guess it wasnt just the suddeness of the heart attack. It was alot of things as well....I am only thankful that I had said, and written, and meant it, that accounts were closed. As such, whatever the turn of events, I could face and embrace all with an open heart. That really mattered to me. I was thankful I didnt face those dreadful hours of waiting, regretting that I had not done this or that. 真的没有遗憾。

I didnt realise that when I wrote of family ties a few days ago, such a turn of event should have taken place. I am grateful that having had my heart enlarged, to forgive and to leave things behind, I was able to give support to others and as I had said, I would want to be there for them, I was.

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No one knows what a day may bring. It is good to keep accounts short and clear. And to value each family member and friends, and show it.

As for me, i know whom i believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which i have committed to him until the end....