Last day of 2012 and End of Year Reflections

Last day of 2012
The last day of the year turned out to be an interesting day. It has become somewhat a tradition to gather at rc's place, except this time its lunch, at his new place. It was a lovely place and a happy gathering. Its so nice to see the people, and that familiar comradeship that has bonded us over the years warms the heart: rc, dc, vl and family, lcl, ckh, ld...it was really good to see them all.

vl and family and ld then came over, and angeline, with ck and kt were great in helping with the planning of the layout for the 2 rooms. vl commented that i am very blessed to have help and support from so many quarters, and with such enthusiasm and unreservedly. His words did strike home. It isnt that i was not thankful. But, I realised, yes, I am very blessed.

Drove vl and family back. Then proceeded to ikea with ck and kt, and took our dinner there. It was a very pleasant and happy dinner. And more or less, most things are finalised.

The only blemish is C4 chose to develop brake fault system. I panicked when the warning signals came up. Thankfully, it didnt stall in the middle of the highway. Thats a mercy!

I totally didnt expect 2012 to end on such a note. Actually festive seasons are often the most lonesome, not that i like crowds and gatherings. I prefer lonesomeness to enforced company.  To have the company of those whom one can be at ease with is really a pleasure.  I think the fact that it was spontaneous and unexpected added to the pleasantness.

So 2012 ended on a warm note. I am thankful. Very. For all the support and care shown, I will pick up and press on....I really intend to, want to, and will do so.  

To friends, ex students and all ~ thank you very much. A touch of kindness means more than you realise.

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End of Year Reflections

In many ways, 2012 is an uneventful year. It is a year of standstill amidst myriad activities.

The main event is the intensive ten months stint at jwss which left me with hardly any time to turn round, and now that phase seemed so long ago. The outcome remains to be seen. Results should be out in 2-3 weeks. But results is a mere statistics. Teaching has bearing on results, but more important than that, it should help mould moral fibre. I hope, I really hope the impact that they had felt momentary would not be erased so soon. Whatever is sown, it takes time to see if it bear fruits.

Completed all the coursework of Masters....now for the actual writing and data analysing process of the dissertation....the spark has been subdued somewhat....but the lunch company at rc did help motivate me a little to want to start on it.....must grit and finish it....

Healthwise has been good. I did not see the doctor at all. The few times I didnt feel well, I could get by with minimal medication. Exercise however..... need to work on that....

In quite a few ways, it has been a year of disappointment. Not so much in happenings. Whatever let-downs in a few quarters, it is good to learn, about people, and re-evaluate things.  Through it all, I know how much teaching means to me. Like how music means to musicians, thats what teaching means to me. I cant explain why teaching is not a job to me. It is like life. Each kid is a life.

And i remember the kid that i had not reach out to help in 2011....who left early in the year..... i remember...i dont know if it could have made any difference./.. i only wished the difference could have been made... i am still sorry.

Where i will go from here is still uncertain. I know I will not waste this precious gift. In one way or another, I will teach. Until I can no longer to do so.

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2012 is a low-key year. No highs. No lows. The last 2 months have been dungeon-like, but it is really necessary to walk through it. It still pains, but I finally faced it. It does not changed anyting that had happened. But, at least, i faced it. I am thankful, really thankful to have done so.

Friends, kuech, cl, pl, el, sw; ex colleagues from nushs; and ex students have been  a great blessing in easing the pathway. For one that takes so little initiative in this respect, I am thankful for those who genuinely care and take the trouble to bridge communication.  It helped alleviate the lonesomeness.

Actually, this year, there had been many gatherings here. I did like the visits of the kids. It brings warmth and laughter.

I miss 403. But they are grown up, and i guess the distance is inevitable. It was good to see tpl and wj who dropped in unannounced 2 days ago. 

I had thought T and B had been well the last few months. Their present listlessness is worrying. I really hope they would yet have some more years with me....

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Spiritually, i remain in the wilderness. Thankfully, there has been stability with ky and ls. That ls two eye operation went well, and at least her remaining sight could be preserved for a while is a big gain. The loss of her sister daisy however is a deep grief.

It was good to see wc back from nz. And unexpectedly, to have both her and joey over for dinner. It has been 24 years since i last met with joey. It was refreshing to have the fellowship. Inevitably, one remembers....

Toward the end of the year, I received gifts with Scripture verse engraved on it from 2 individuals; on one was, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen; on another, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. I take heed do the exhortations.... Scripture verses are imprinted upon my soul.

The Lord alone is faithful, and his mercies endureth forever.

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What do i hope 2013 will bring?

I hope I will finally settle down in this place by jan. I hope the dissertation will complete before the year ends.

I hope I can continue to teach meaningfully, and see the welfare of the kids that I had taught.

I hope I can do a little good whenever I can.

I hope T and B will be well.

I hope for good for all, and especially for those who had shown much kindness, good will and care.

I hope the wounds will finally heal and my soul will find green pastures and still waters....