reflections....mentality and attitude

as at this moment, i am still moving forward. there is alot of clearing to be done, and i hope that this task, delayed for 2 years will be done in the next 2 weeks.

i must thank the ever faithful mr soon for always being at hand to help me out. I realised he will be 80 next year. Over twenty years.... he has seen alot, and has helped me through many rough patches.... he remained as alert as ever, and still a great problem solver.

went down ikea 2 days ago and it can be quite bewildering. i now understand some of the difficulties mum had.... when one is too insulated, it is hard to adjust to the rapid changes. It must be very difficult for that generation when they cant even read english.

Two years ago, it was vl and angeline that helped me get the basic items that i need, and helped me have sufficient to settle in. I realised i wont make good choice on my own, especially when i need to get things done for two rooms. i decided to take up the open offer by the blss boys, ck and kt. So we met up today at ikea. ck turned out to be a greater help than i had expected.

we didnt get anything but at least there is preliminary plan. was surprised at their thoroughness in planning and the extra extra mile they were willing to go to.... i hope somehow things will get some order soon...

i can only say, i am very grateful and thankful....strength is not on my side....i do miss that element in youth, i was a pretty strong and tough nut....must learn to be gracious.

It isnt that i hadnt asked a few people earlier, professional contractors as well. Over the last 2 years, i had made at least 3 failed attempts. Cost was not the issue. It is how people undertake tasks. Minimal accountability even from the start. What makes the difference?
=========================================

In all my dealings with people, i observe and ponder. And through it, perceive. I cant explain perception. Not that i can explain the difference either.

At the start of the year, my observations over differing circumstances had led to me to think seriously of the difference between intelligence, cognition and mentality. When sean was here last month, i asked him to define mentality. He related it to one's experience in life. The exposure to how one is brought up, one's environment, one's relations with people that formed one's mentality. It is a factor, definitely. Upbringing affects one's mentality. But siblings can be so vastly different, so it is an influencing factor, not a determing factor.

Is mentality an exercise of the mind, or one's personality? The level of mentality is related to one's thought process. How does the intellect level influence mentality? Why I focus on mentality is, I feel attitude towards things is highly correlated to one's mentality.

What is good attitude? What is bad attitude? What is attitude? What drives attitude? The way people serve, the way people answer enquiries, the way people undertake tasks that they are engaged to do, the way people relate/listen/help another is often at a surface level. Do the basic, and thats it. If one can do even less, thats better.

Note the oft mentioned Singaporean mentality, kia-su, complaining, self-centred being some key features. Anyone consider how these features have become so much in the fabric of our society? The scarcity of independent mindedness is frightening; When probed, i have noted how glib and fast actions and pursuits are excused with, everyone is like that, its the society, cant be helped.

Students or working adults, one can see it if one is observant. But honestly, when it comes to adults, i dont bother much, even when i am being taken for a ride. I wont file complains either. Is there a point? But kids, they are still malleable...

I also wonder if the cognitive aspect, the intellectual capacity plays a limiting role in 'attitude' issues. In particular, maid issues. And for that matter, issues arising in the service sector.

I note also that people with high intellect, and hence quite likely to be more successful, their mentality is often on another platform. Sean is actually very perceptive to be so intuitive in his reply to a question thrown to him spontaneously. Life's experiences shape mentality. If one is more aware of one's tendencies, then, they are more likely to be able to bridge the differences in platforms, and a bond of worth could be formed. Actually the chinese saying 门当户对 is really wise, in many respects. It took me many years before I understand the wisdom.

And then, I understood dad better. too late...

===================================

In our lives, inadvertently, we have to deal with people due to varying circumstances. Alot of unhappiness and friction comes about due to the differences in expectations of attitudes ( includes 'boss' attitude). That is what is observed on the outset.

I somehow feel, the deeper issue is mentality....and if there is a need to address the issue, it is the mentality of the person that needs to be address, not the observed 'attitude'. 

if one quietly observes, (quietude is a necesity), and considers, i think, one will understand what i mean....not that it matters....