end of march 2013

this place of writing has always been special to me. Over the past years, it has been my companion in solitude....it just doesnt seem right that i seem to have deserted this companion...

sometimes, it is not that one cant find company. more often than not, it is having the company that listens, that one can be at ease. otherwise, i think, solitude is really far preferred to the waves of sounds and endless activities.

and i have not been writing. not because there is a stone that blocked the well of thoughts. its just....yes, sometimes, i am just too tired...pain wears one out....

Now that march is almost coming to an end, i looked back and felt perhaps i should leave a few words before the month close....
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Am taking on a short 5 week teaching assignment presently, which should end in april....whether it would be extended is unknown to myself.... i no longer see anyting as being too important....if i can contribute, i will.....but there is a time for everything....


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 hadnt been too good.....spinal issues among others.....have neglected some areas and am now paying for my negligence......over these past two months, have seen a myriad of medical personnel. And really, the question i would wish to ask many of them is, wherefore are thou in the medical field?

actually, i consult with 'medical professional' mainly to 'be responsible' and 'not to be stubborn'. At the end of the day, I am none the wiser/better. I also wonder how much of 'diagnosis' is an academic exercise and how much true care a doctor really have for the relief of one's discomfort and unwellness. Since my expectations are rarely high, so i wasnt too disappointed.

Thankfully, i have found more easement and relief in tcm approaches, and am indeed fortunate to come across a skilful and dedicated physician that do listen, that do address both the physical ailments and the frame of mind of the patient.

I am aware that with age, there will be an increase of discomfort, for some, more than others. It could be far worse, so I am thankful. And during the times, when the threshold is reached, one may see only dark clouds and pain does drain one's strength, I am grateful to be able to look beyond, and know the dark clouds will pass.


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i am a poor communicator in times like this. Seriously, what is there to say? And what is the point to say?  its boring to repeat the story whenever someone enquires.

And really for people who 'care' only when one is 'ill', is there any point? If one cant be a friend to you at all times, would they be a better 'friend' at such times? It would be better if they remain at the distance they have kept.

And for those who are true friends, illness or not, makes no difference. I am thankful to have a few of such true friends.

As at this moment, I am definitely much better than I was a month ago. Some things are chronic problems, and wont go away in a hurry.....one just got to grin and take it.

It take some getting use to though...

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More than at any other time, the grace and mercies of the Lord Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,  comforts and strengthens the heart.