whilst we can....

Alot of thoughts....its just how to organise them in a coherent flow....

Sometimes, I dont know how to account for the way time passes, and what have i done? Positively, I have walked out of ill health, and am keeping up exercise routine through the week. Headaches have eased a great deal, and i have reached two panadol free months. A record.

Every week, I have at least 2 meet ups with friends/ex colleagues, and somehow, every week, i did hear from at least one student from the past. It is always pleasant to have a peek into their lives, and share their thoughts. I rarely take initiative to communicate so, really, it is a consolation to be remembered. 

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With the young, one sees their flapping wings, waiting to venture forth and explore. To me, young includes those in their thirties. Whilst I usually sound out caution, it is encouraging to see ideals, to see values, to see thoughtfulness.....

With the non-young, the occurrences of illness/unwellness is becoming more frequent......

 After a serious home accident  a couple of months back, Mr Soon has deteriorated, and that really pains. Very much. He still want to do odd jobs for me, but I dont want him to hurt himself anymore.  I owe him alot, alot. At a time, when really I knew who are friends, and who are not, he stood by in his gruff ways. I hope he recovers and stay well....

Chris is having an operation this week. The cliff hanger, benign or malignant is yet to be confirmed. Chris walked me through my musical journey and without her, music wouldnt have been a part of my life now. There is alot that I respect about her, and alot that i can emulate in her seeming nonchalant demeanour that belies a caring heart. It makes me more determined to practice and try to get through the grade exam, for her sake.

t finally told me that he had been warned that unexpected end can come anytime with some heart issue. I was stunned. For one moment, i felt, crushed. I realised he had waited till i was making good progress healthwise before telling me.

There isnt many in life that one can say  a  friend is a 知己. I have a few very good friends, and many lovely ex-colleagues, even ex-students that have become good friends. But, one that knows me from my youth, that knows my true capacity and appreciate without criticism even though he is superior in intellect and ability; one that had extended a helping hand in the three painful downsittings of my life; one that i can share strengths and weaknesses without fear of being hurt or misunderstood; one that can accept silence and understands even when the differences are great; one that can hold friendship even through long years of absence  ~  i think there is only one that i can say is my 知己.

For some moments, darkness hovered as the immensity struck home and pain grips. Over the past years, where I walked through losses and seen others do so, I have encouraged myself and those close to me, that we must not fail to live the present, in being overwhelmed by the pain of future losses. For whatever period, we are given to be with those whom we value, make it meaningful. No one can tell the length of days we have upon this earth. Who knows what will happen when? Whilst we can, let us do good and help one another.

So, at such a time, I encourage myself, and give thanks and count my blessings. How many can say they have such meaningful relationships as i have? These three are special because over the last ten years, they were people that stood by, where many didnt. I hope, I hope to these my dear friends, that I can be there for them, even as they have been there for me.

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and for other thoughts..... some day....another post.....
 
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