Of the affairs of the heart (II)

because it is an issue that does affect everyone, it is not difficult to strike the inner chord of those who read.

Some talk about it alot; others keep silent; some feel very intensely; some somehow managed to rationalise and subdue for years; some are persons of action; some, totally ruled by inertia ie inaction.

The truth is, these matters are highly distracting and sometimes distressing, whether one pursues it or not; no matter what age you are at.

Hence, if you have not attained to your goals that are needed for the future, the general advice is, keep focused. This is not the time. I mean it, seriously.

For those who happily found one another in the same passage, good for them. There is no need to make things miserable (like what people do in the past), and enforced separation. In these cases, let nature takes its course.

Theoretically, one is more developed mentally and emotionally to cope when one is older (20s and more?). So dont rush into it just because you see others being together. Nor let the fear of being left behind worry you.

Thankfully for me, I was always very independently minded, and no amount of remarks affect me. Loneliness and being worried with being alone is two entirely different thing. The first hits me hard, the second never troubled me at all.

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I agree with dylan who says it is good to see things from a non-parent adult perspective, especially if one has undergone through the phases (not all has).

When one is entangled in a net, he/she tends to think there is no one that understands how awfully aching it all is. All those who love/have loved would have told you, they understand. But different people feel the intensity differently, and show it differently.

Some dont show at all. Sometimes it is because the person is highly introverted. Sometimes it is because it is the only way not to lose the friendship, and they are prepared to pay that price as the person matters that much to them, and they want to standby as a friend to them. Actually these are those that really care altruistically.

Bringing up some heart-related issues help raise self-awareness; help rationalise when the mind is totally irrational; help realise the issues are universal to mankind.

The pathway however has to be trodden by each. You all have a long way to go, especially the boys, with NS days approaching. And there may be separation due to academic pursuits abroad. So let nature runs its natural course.

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btw, for some reason or other, I am writing more from the boys perspective. I think the reason is because more or less, the initiative has to be taken by the boys, especially if there is intention of going a further stage.

And by the way, a reminder, alot of things is NOT OBVIOUS. The fairer gender needs explicit expression.

Alas, only from whom they are waiting for! :0