memos....

was not particularly thinking of writing.... tired, and yes, worried... but if i dont, i wont be able to re-trace some thread of thoughts....

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Got T n B each a 'bed', and they liked them. :) Especially tiger...will update about pussies another day...

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attended piano emsemble last nite at yst put up by nus students/alumnus cos pl's daughter cw is performing. Enjoyed it more than expected. Duets are always interesting. i really wished i could be an accomplished pianist. Altho i am still keeping up with lessons, and surprisingly, despite not practising at all, sight reading has improved. I know my own limitations. I am too self-aware and lacked that focus and concentration to 'perform' well. But in my limited capacity, i am still learning and pushing boundaries...

cw's wedding will be on my bday this year.... seeing her growth over 18 years, I am happy, very, for pl....

brought ls and ky along....sometimes, i dont know what else to do to stand by both....and i am tired also... and its going to be tough for ls... the Lord grant us mercies to persevere and trust in the days of our sojourning....

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being at nus also brought back a lot of memories of the phase at nus.... a phase i dont say much about....in many ways, it was then, that i developed and knew my strengths.... and weaknesses....the saddest thing is, i didnt developed much intellectually, which should have been the purpose of being at uni.... although it was here that i first met people that communicate at a much higher level, that i had learnt from...

and yes, it brought back memories....

actually i was too considerate for others....had i not been.... things could have been very different....but then, would that have been 'me'?

actually that song by John denver "perhaps love" came from this period.....

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monday is the least liked day.... but i remembered a maxim someone said to me, try to like the things you have to do... and if u cant, do it efficiently, to finish it.... so well, i am trying...and it wasnt too bad i guess...

its adjusting 'expectations' also....

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have been reading a couple of books wrt research, and have been quite struck by the thorough and professional frame of thought. One of the authors had lectured at Harvard. Truly, they are in a class of their own: their attitude, thought, approach showed up the many flaws in our 'educational development' ~ note i use the pronoun 'our'.... it showed up my attitude, thought, and approach....

it taught me many things.... to have a higher frame of mentality; to seek for thoroughness, cohesiveness, and depth; to keep memos to trace chain of thought and development; to set a standard for oneself, regardless of external requirement.

And there were so many helpful illustrations and guidance for each phase...

now i am thankful for the hitches.... it allows me to re-think, re-conceptualise, and also make me want to do it better, and not be confined to 'meeting timeframe' mentality.

At first, i was disappointed that i had not been guided in the process in this manner.... but on reflection, i am thankful to have discovered this way myself, and embarked on a discovery learning journey....

i love learning....and after a cycle of untold conflicts and turbulence, to take the path of learning purely for its own sake..... is a luxury.... and i want to value the journey for itself, not because of the destiniation...

Gerlynn has this on her blog, which i always thought was very meaningful...

"Happiness shouldn't be a destination in your life; it should be part of the journey of your life."

The same with learning.... and this memo is written to remind me of this...