is that bad?? is that good??

actually i really have no time to do anything considering i have done NOTHING to revise for my exam 45 hours 45 min from now, and am now going down with flu symptoms.....but since the head is not working, might as well zzzzzzz for awhile.

and the whole day was spent clearing one thing or the other.... and brownee threw up all the food in her guts + diarrhoea at 1+am, so that wasnt much of a nite either...

and i have finally decided (2 hours ago) that i cannot proceed with the topic of my essay, and will change direction altogether (which i am not sure how my lecturer is going to take it, since she has attempted to 'force' me to do something last week, and i am going to abandon it!!!) and no, i have not found the direction yet.... actually, this assignment is the preliminary to the research part, and i really dont want to do something just for the sake of it....so hmmm....its going to be a kind of deadlock at the moment...i have up to 14 nov 5pm to hand in, or fail the module.... o well....
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but the main reason why i am writing is becos i want to say this.... it is strange how that bond with 403 kids remain the same... it was really nice to see them in canteen this morning, and so many of them....and they are always so happy, even when they lament of their lack of good results.... i wonder if i should have been harsher with them, and nag them to work really hard....

as gyl said, "i am not ambitious', it seems like most of them are not. Is that bad? i dunno. I dont want them to be underachievers, yet, again because of the way they are, they are always happy. Is that good? I dunno. Some people are never happy. But these kids are, and seeing them always make me happy.

the thing about being in school, is, nothing is really planned. u come down for breakfast, and then suddenly one appeared, then so many appeared, and that makes it rather spontaneous. and i realised i have only one more school week left....

still, they made me happy today....jus by being who they are. I really should have pushed them harder....sigh o well...maybe thats why we 'click' :)