Respect

I had wanted to record this incident that took place 2 months ago. It came back to me today.

I went to see this person to consult her over some matters. I was not well acquainted with her, but we had a common ground in education. When we had completed our discussion and talk was casual, she related her conflicts when she left the school she taught for many, many years, and held senior post. Her reason for leaving was the opportunity to explore different aspect of education, and to get her doctorate. It was a positive reason.

Two things she said struck me.

She said she was afraid of moving higher as she has seen so many people change when they are in power. That is very true. You dont see your own change. Others see them.

She also said she was very glad that despite having left for quite a few years, five (?), her colleagues who had reported to her still asked her out occasionally even to this day, and they communicated as friend. That she found most gratifying as it is not often that subordinates can be friends with you.

I said to her, you must have won their respect when you were their head.

She replied, I like to think, it is because I have respected them.

I respected her for this statement.

Words of wisdom. Very true. One tends to respect those who are 'higher' up, for whatever reasons, be it true admiration of their qualities, or not so positive reasons. But to respect those who are 'lower' in status requires an inner upbringing, a spirit of humanity. And when that is present, it wins loyalty and friendship. She has evidently won that.

And respect begets respect. Respect is not a 'show'. Quiet consideration; consultation; sincerity.
Respect is very simple. Your heart is there, it is natural. You will ask. You will not make decisions affecting others without checking, however 'small' the matter. It is in small matters that shows how much you regard others.

Without respect, decisons made are often callous. And it cannot but lead to disaffection.

Yes, I am very disappointed and disheartened. I dont know why I should be because it is nothing new, in fact so characteristic. Yet, i had hoped it was an overlook, not deliberate. The fact is, the views of others are not sought because there was never respect in the first place.

It was a small matter, but through it, so much is seen which I wish I didnt see. And this is what makes me sad...