Two sentiments...

Had a terrific migraine today. Was abit slow with medication, so it reached a pounding state by the afternoon. Settled it with painkiller at 3 hour intervals thrice. Had not had such a bad one for some time. I guess its sleep (lack of) and tension.
==================================================
Shall write the negative sentiment first. Finally completed most tests except for the last exam, and one more assignment. I know I dont work hard enough to do well, but I guess it never feels good not to be in the A category. I tend to diverge, think of different aspects, than to focus on remembering facts. If I was not math-trained, I think it would be worse. I like reading and reading, diverging, then bring the matter to a converging point, even if it is a point of controversy...............................

But that is not what is wanted in academic studies........ So I guess hovering at the tip of B, and not quite reaching an A, is really quite disheartening. Yet the truth is, I never want an A bad enough to study or work for it.....
.....
I want that for my students though, and want that quite badly..... sigh... the contradictions of life.............................

i guess, i dont want them to be a non-achiever like me......ya, i dont feel good at all..... and that 50% essay is still hanging like an albatross..... i hope i have the stamina to last out the next 2 nights to do a fair job out of it.

=============================
Despite that pounding head, i enjoyed my teaching today. It was such a thrill to prove the compound angle formula to them , and to feel the kids (at least more than half?) following. When the last class I taught clapped at the end, I knew it is because they understood and appreciated the elegance and simplicity of the proof, I cant describe that sense of happiness............

I have proven this formula many many times, easily at least 10 batches of students, I must say despite the constrain of time, I had the most satisfaction this time round. Whilst I think the rapport with the kids help in the fluency and flow of the proof, it is really a great encouragement and consolation, to see their attentiveness and interest in following the procedure because they are really interested in learning math...............

That really made my day , and really it was a good end to the semester............I will seriously miss teaching and the specialness of this school when I leave..... I count myself very fortunate that I should have such a sense of satisfaction in teaching..... the special feeling of almost elation in the class, though momentary, is really relished..... not many has has this privilege and joy............

so despite my personal disappointment at my relatively non-ideal achievement (sigh, my trademark), the remembrance of the response of the kids more than make up for it! :D