Still looking for that direction vector...

I am very very sad for Japan. Its tragic.

And all the more poignant when the citizens faced the calamity with calmness and stoicism. Would it be the same for Singapore? When even simple exercise like fire drill is taken so lightly by kids and adults alike.... the price of phenomenal success taken so much for granted by a 'performance-obsessed' generation.

I remembered too well the oil weapon in the late 1970s; the spyros disaster in 1978; the collapse of hotel new world in mid-1980s. The newsreel was vividly imprinted in my mind. I know its really true, to be prepared.

It also reduces all seemingly 'big' issues into its proper size. No one can stand against the unleashing of wrath of natural catastrophes.
=====================

insulated within the 'safety' of our environment, our tiny existence is over-inflated. nevertheless life does go on as normal for us. And too many here are unmoved by sufferings of fellow beings.

'What do you want?' I had been asked whenever I seek for advice and direction. Ironically, if i know I wouldnt seek to hear views. In a multitude of counsellors there is safety. I never dare presume I am right.

A year ago, this seeking of direction had begun. I read back postings where i kept looking for my direction vector.

Today, I was asked again, it depends what you want.

Inwardly, I sigh. It is not that I do not know what I want. Sometimes, most of the time, I know.

But what you want may not be viable; It may not be possible; it may not be for the good of all; And sometimes, it is almost like, does it matter, what i want?

if i was to ask myself what i really want, it would be just to be contented, to be a village girl, to be a typical stay-at-home family person. At heart, that is really all i want.

But there is no village. There is no one to stay at home for. Caring can only be within the heart; cannot be shown. Ironic as it seems, this is sometimes the only way to maintain ties.

alot of circumstances cannot be changed. But that is not catastrophic.

Someone said very perceptively that I am a communal person, one that lives for a community. True. In my anti-social introversion, I know community gives meaning to my life. So its hard.

Look up. Keep looking for your direction vector....i will find it somehow...