stormy turmoil

i am angry....grrr.......

why?

i no longer can stay up to complete work.... my head is just numb

i no longer work as fast as i want to.... more than half the time my head is pounding...

i hate being slow, and not meeting deadlines.... i use to be very quick....

before i get angry with others.... i am angry with myself first....

and yes, i am angry with others....

angry with inconsideration and

angry with self-centredness, self-importance...

angry with tantrums, complains, negativeness...

angry... i try not to be...but i am angry... very angry...

but if i was faster, more careful, more efficient; if i was more patient and obliging.... healthier, and yes perhaps smarter....i wont make silly mistakes...... than i guess maybe there would be less cause to be angry.....

i really try hard...very hard...with so many things...perhaps too hard...

Is the issue me, or others?

actually, my head is so bad, there is barely 3-4 days in a month without painkillers... and this has gone on for months....... i need a break very badly... i wish i wont keep considering for others.... esp for people that actually dont care....ssh, wake up, dont care too much...it got to stop somewhere, somehow....

actually i came to a decision a few days ago... but its hard to let go esp when i see the kids...they made me happy.... but when they grow up, they are going to be adults that made me angry...grrrr...grrrrr.....

stormy turmoil......i am very angry....sigh....its hard to keep cheerful when u are so angry....grrrrr....o well, tomorrow is another day....