When.....
when life centres round deadlines;
when the main purpose of sleep is to get up at unearthly hour;
when anxiety ruleth;
when one drives on for driving on sake...
when strength to battle on wanes...
when your encouragement sounds feeble to yourself...
when one feels guilty even to stop awhile to write when there are piles of undone work....
why? to meet standards? whose standards?
when reflection is merely a glimpse...
yes, it is really time to stop...
El msged yesterday. She is quitting. A lady of utmost dedication and perseverence. I can understand. Direction has changed. Who truly value values for all the utterance? It cant be an easy decision. 25 years of dedication.
El was one of the very few that knew me and accepted me. She was the very very few that said I was introverted. i dont show what i truly feel. I hate being hurt, esp by people I care. So I dont show. But she knew. For many, many years, she made sure I had lunch cos she knew i never took care over things like that. she was the first person that i told when i was leaving then, and she teared. I never expected it for she was a picture of steadiness and serenity. For the ten years since I left, she contacted me every term break, and never lost touch, no matter my reclusiveness.
She was one of the very few that truly valued me and never took me as a 'threat' though she could. I once asked her if I had not left, what would I have been in the school. And she said to me, the post she was holding. I knew that was true. But I left cos I believe only in education, not in systems. Structure is not system. She was one of the very few that saw and knew i was really gifted in teaching and would acknowledged it. The 'magic' touch, some parents had said. Kids that didnt like math grew to love it. I see that touch sometimes again, but much much rarer.....i dont want to lose it....
its time ....its just to find the right time.....sigh! now before guilt overwhelms, i have to return to ploughing....until that time....
I remembered SS saying he is epsilon... yes, good to remember that... just a spectre....dont think too much of oneself/the importance of one's role.... lets go back to basics....simplicity....ssh, remember godliness with contentment is great gain.... must let go....have the courage and steel to let go....
when the main purpose of sleep is to get up at unearthly hour;
when anxiety ruleth;
when one drives on for driving on sake...
when strength to battle on wanes...
when your encouragement sounds feeble to yourself...
when one feels guilty even to stop awhile to write when there are piles of undone work....
why? to meet standards? whose standards?
when reflection is merely a glimpse...
yes, it is really time to stop...
El msged yesterday. She is quitting. A lady of utmost dedication and perseverence. I can understand. Direction has changed. Who truly value values for all the utterance? It cant be an easy decision. 25 years of dedication.
El was one of the very few that knew me and accepted me. She was the very very few that said I was introverted. i dont show what i truly feel. I hate being hurt, esp by people I care. So I dont show. But she knew. For many, many years, she made sure I had lunch cos she knew i never took care over things like that. she was the first person that i told when i was leaving then, and she teared. I never expected it for she was a picture of steadiness and serenity. For the ten years since I left, she contacted me every term break, and never lost touch, no matter my reclusiveness.
She was one of the very few that truly valued me and never took me as a 'threat' though she could. I once asked her if I had not left, what would I have been in the school. And she said to me, the post she was holding. I knew that was true. But I left cos I believe only in education, not in systems. Structure is not system. She was one of the very few that saw and knew i was really gifted in teaching and would acknowledged it. The 'magic' touch, some parents had said. Kids that didnt like math grew to love it. I see that touch sometimes again, but much much rarer.....i dont want to lose it....
its time ....its just to find the right time.....sigh! now before guilt overwhelms, i have to return to ploughing....until that time....
I remembered SS saying he is epsilon... yes, good to remember that... just a spectre....dont think too much of oneself/the importance of one's role.... lets go back to basics....simplicity....ssh, remember godliness with contentment is great gain.... must let go....have the courage and steel to let go....
posted by ssh at
7:44 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home