the words must flow....

just a quick update for my own record really....

no, i hadnt progress in writing...that is not to say, there is no progressing in thought processes....its slow though....next week, i should have a clear period of 5 days or so.....the words must flow by then....

it was helpful to meet up with L 2 days ago; with each conversation, there is more clarity in my mind that may/may not be related to what was discusssed....it just clears things from my mind, in my mind. Its always interesting to talk with L who has a lively mind, and can take ambiguity. I guess most important of all, she has always allowed me the scope to explore and try boundaries. That said, i think the reason why i took on to her is the 'teacher' in her that values every student and encourages every student, and this permeates in her relationship with her dealings with others, always wanting to bring the best out of them. However old, however certain one may be of where one stands, it is still good to feel valued. So yes, most meetings with her is enjoyable.

The push for closer deadlines isnt though....

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Brought brownee to the vet finally today. Have been trying to resolve most of her issues by adjusting food and really had gone quite well, but she has developed some skin issue and her frequent scratching and discomfort has caused disturb nites to her, and to me. But bringing her to the vet is really an ordeal to me. She is distressed and showed it throughout the journey. Almost always that will spark off a migraine, which it did, given my present state, that is to be expected. dr nathan is really an excellent vet. i like her the first time i saw her, her feel for animals and their owners is so intuitive. She seems to understand how much the pussies mean to me, and how much i can take in attending to them in medication etc, and always make decisions that is most comfortable for me.

I was so thankful that it appears to be a case of allergy and nothing worse than that. Brownee got 2 jabs, and the rest we would have to wait for the allergy test results. There were 2 other cats that have far more serious ailments..... i guess, that day would come some day for T n B...now that they cross ten....but i shall not think about it. In many ways, i value the times with the pussies even more....poor brownee is really knocked out by the jabs.... i hope she gets better soon.

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headaches and other issues here and there dont make me feel good, the disturbed nights didnt help... i tire so easily...to easily....i realise it especially when i attend course, its not just age, its my stamina....zh tells me its ok, better to be so and we learn to take care, than to seem ok, when things may not be. I must say, he has a way of seeing things positively, and that is good.

 i fully intend to take care, to hold out, to keep as well as possible, to conserve energy.....must get the writing down. That is the priority after the pussies. Everything else has to take the back seat, although given my nature, the back seaters still have alot of attention. People will always be more important to me. I want that to be so always.

i hope when i next write, i would have make more than thought progress.... i really must....the words must flow.....there is really alot that i want to write....the words must flow....