teach me to number my days.....

This was psalmist prayer, "So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.." Psalm 90:12.



Over these 3 weeks, have seen the passing of a dear lady whom I have known more than half my life, heard of a few serious health problems among those I knew, including one that I had fairly close communication recently....that was the most unexpected, and he is but young, with a very young child. Its really painful to see the trials of others. How little one can help!

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I view the end as a transition from this to the next, wherein, I have hope in a heavenly country, whose founder and maker is God. I dont view it as a sadness for myself, nor a 'relief from this world'. I trust in the Lord, whom I believe with my whole heart, and believe that he has forgiven my sins, and would receive me. Not because of anythng I had done, but for everything he had done, in his death at the cross, for sinners.

Within myself, I have peace about this. Its always comforting and making preparations for others that may care and value you that is the painful part. For it is a lonelier path, when one has one less friend, and i guess, to a few, i did matter to them....or at least i like to think, i do. I hope, to those who value me, they will remember well of me. Always.

Was talking to sk 2 days ago about this. She was surprisingly accepting of it. Yes, we have to live each day as if that is the last. I am thankful, that I do not feel like the young, who feel they havent lived life, and still want more. I only wish to make provision for others with wisdom,  and hope they will live life meaningfully. Finally, got down to doing this, and hope to settle things by the next month. Then really, I have done all that is needful.

No one knows if they have one day more, one week more, one year, one decade or many more decades to live. I wish for much less days than more.....

As I scan the remaining time, I would say, I have done all that I wish to which I am really glad. Tying up loose ends, and seeing through this batch of kids this year would be a very great achievement to me. It wasnt easy to leave the set path, people that i have grown to care and my comfort zone to another environment, far from what one is used to. But I really wanted to do this. More than completing my Masters. The masters is for myself. But helping the less privilege kids, its different.

As i see some of them picking up, I really am very happy. If it impact half of them, it would be 20 more! That is a joy to me, and really if this is the last of my teaching contribution, I believe this is one of the most worthwhile contribution, because it took out more of my energy and time than i had anticipated. But it is really very worthwhile.

"I shall pass this way but once;
any good therefore that i can do,
or any kindness that i can show ~
let me not defer nor neglect it,
for i shall not pass this way again."

as for the days ahead....however many, i know not what each day will bring. I only pray even as psalmist did, that the Lord would teach me to number my days and apply my heart unto wisdom.

This is not a sad post. Its a practical one. Should any worry, no, i do not have any health issues at the moment, though the many news of  sudden succumbing of strength and some quite immediate end, whether by illness or accident, made me determined not to procrastinate as if days would go on interminably.  I wish to mark down every milestone....