affinity

its funny how for some unfathomable reason, one should feel a kind of affinity for another...

i was never really fond of children; yes, its nice to see some cutie pies, and comment they are so, and then, well, thats it, for me. Give me pussies any time.

for that reason also, i never quite liked to teach kiddies. For the first 15 years of my teaching, it was always 15- 16 year old kids, in fact graduating classes for 12 years? It was only after that stretch that i did relief teaching for lower secondary years, and well, did adjust to like them, though they are usually abit empty headed to me. had tutored a few primary school kids but, on the whole, no thank you.

why i decided to give primary school kids a try this time, is something i have been irritated with myself, especially when i started on it. That is the dreaded monday, going from one of this small dot to the other.....i guess, i wanted to understand more of their cognitive level, and to experience it for myself....

anyway, sometime in the 4th week or so, this little impish chap stayed behind and in very few words, indicated he couldnt follow. There was something in the way he looked....(or maybe i am a sucker for introverts...seeing their words in their silence)... and somehow this little chap found his way into my soft spot. Week after week, he would be the one that come up to ask questions, and pertinent ones. He never seemed scared even when i got very fierce with the naughty ones.... he would be the only one that stayed behind for 5 to ten minutes time and again for that extra explanation. He isnt fast, alot of blank spaces, but somehow, he seemed to try hard to understand...and he is slow at articulating his thoughts, unlike most of the others who cant stop yakking away.

Then there is this other girl with such a listening look. Every session, these 2 especially made my day. And somehow, I think they knew it too....there is just this inexplicable affinity.

Yesterday and today, there were special holiday sessions with the class, and it was longer than the usual time...i have to say, i enjoyed teaching the class, though i did get a splitting headache. Now that i am more used to them, and more accustomed to the highly interesting manner of doing primary sch math, i had alot more liberty to see connections in the concepts and strategies. I try to get through to them that, they should focus on concepts and see relationships, instead of just solving problems to get marks..... I saw a couple of kiddies eyes brightened with understanding. Its been some time since I saw that look, an enlightened kind of look.....

6 more sessions to go, and this will also be over....i will be glad to be free of it, as i really need the time, though i must say, i am also quite happy that i can teach little kiddies after all, although, not so little, they are P6....and quite an achievement to help them make sense of their convoluted math questions....

---and I wondered if there would be opportunity ever to run into the special ones again....that look... that really made one want to reach out, protect, and help ....i never thought i would be able to reach out to kiddies, much less have affinity with them....

ah....maybe this is part of getting old....