It is Obvious?!?
Had been thinking of this statement 'It is obvious' for some time, because in the space of 8 days, I heard it 4 times ... and the question in my mind is 'it is obvious?'
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Case 1:
X has 2 routes to choose: options A and B. In the process of discussion over many days, I finally asked explicitly what is the heart's choice? And the answer was, i thought it was obvious, the option is A. Obvious? I wasnt sure, though by inference one can come to the conclusion if one knows X well enough. I really was not sure.
And anyway how to be sure, when finally, the decision was to choose the route option B?
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Case 2:
In the course of narration of some past events that had spanned over years, Y remarked Z should know some things. Reason: It is obvious. I declined comment since I didnt understand the full scenario, nor were acquainted with the persons involved during that span of time.
But in my mind, I asked myself, is it an assumption that it is obvious? I dont know.
But experience tells me assumption of obvious-ness is often seen from one's own perspective and expectations....
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Case 3:
This time, I do know the course of events. It ended as abruptly as it started, over 6-8 weeks? In analysing the matter with P the cause and effect, P surmised that the initial part was miscommunication (I dislike this word, it is an euphemism for alot of things!). What to P was obvious was not obvious to Q. In fact Q interpreted the reverse of what P expected Q to understand.
Knowing P quite well, I asked P why it should be obvious? In fact, as a bystander, I am more inclined to the conclusion that Q had arrived. But I would have verified or be more patient and make further observations.
To me, as long as nothing is explicitly said or stated, there is nothing obvious from signs and symptoms. Impression/Inference is not sufficient grounds if I view the matter as important. Which, considering everything, it is important.
P concluded that mathematics training is such that from one statement, it reached the next statement, that is how a proof is arrived, and that was why, P had assumed that others would think the same way. It is still difficult for P to fathom why what is to one so obvious, can be not obvious to another, or worse, seen as the reverse?
Math is the training of the mind. Not the training of the heart. To perceive, to have intuition, to understand, to interprete.... is not a mind matter. And poor assumptions can affect alot of things, in fact most things, since whatever we do, we relate to people.
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Case 4: (This is a typical situation for one that ask and get directions)
Went to NIE last Monday, and as usual, was not quite sure where I should head for after I parked my car. Experience teaches me, dont bother to wander, ask direction. There were not many people around, so when I reached a stairway, and saw 2 chaps, each on one bench, so I asked first of all, what level I was at, and secondly, where a particular building was.
Answer to the first question is a fact, I was at B1, so no issue. Answer to the second, the first chap said he did not belong to NIE, just using the spot to study. The second chap, forced to answer, said go to the gound level, you will see this building at the centre, it is obvious, you wont miss it.
Not very helpful, but I thought follow instructions. I went up, and looked around. The buildings all looked the same, and yes familiar since I had been there quite a few times. But obvious? What building at the centre? The centre is a field! I walked along the corridor, and looked sufficiently lost for someone to ask what I was looking for. He then pointed to the building in a particular direction. Then it occured to me, that this seemed to be newly built, and I didnt remember it there the last time I was here more than a year ago.
Perhaps that was why that chap said, it was obvious, since it was fairly new? He had assumed what was obvious to him, was obvious to me. What is obvious, to me, would be say, a red building in the midst of a row of blue or green buildings. That no one can miss. But if one is unfamiliar to the surroundings, just saying the building is obvious, is to me, as good as not giving any help.
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So, is obvious, really obvious? The next time you say, it is obvious, the next question is, obvious to whom? And if you really intend the receiving party to get the message, then better be explicit!
I reviewed the cases, and noted that all who made the statements are (i) Male
My observation is it could be a gender difference. The fairer gender (it is OBVIOUS which gender I am referring to) tend to be more intuitive, cautious, and needs affirmation. Hence there is less occurence of such random statements of 'It is obvious'.
At the same time, the less fair gender, if you intend your message to really get through, dont assume anything is obvious. You may lose a major project, and more.....
(ii) Confident of themselves; Smart and capable.
Hence, perhaps these tend to think others think at the same level as them? Or being confident, they didnt need assurance since they can interprete obvious signs, but overlooked that others whom they assumed to be as capable, are actually not as confident of themselves and hence need confirmation?
The question you should be asking me is, it is easy to see the persons referred to are males, but how do I know they are confident, smart and capable?
My answer:
It is OBVIOUS!!! ;)
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