Reflections....

Of Bonds and Relationships....

Tiger and Brownee taught me alot. Actually I really did neglect them over the last 2-3 years, where work took such a primary role. A 12 hour work-day was the norm; then a couple of hours with mum, and desperate of sleep. I did notice they were more aloof with me.

After sulis left, I was faithful in returning back daily to feed them by 6; and especially tiger being unwell shook me. I had assumed they would be with me for a good many years. The lovely thing about animals is, they remain loyal. These past 2 months, our bonds returned to what it was. Both of them are more often in my room, especially tiger. Almost every nite, he sleeps at his favorite chair. He had not done so for a very long time.

The same with brownee. I realised she missed sulis alot. Brownee needs company all the time, and I wasnt around to give her. Now, I made effort to play with her and fuss over her every day.

I am fully aware that like all things, these two companions are temporal. All I want to do is to be able to give them the shelter, security and care for life.

What they taught me is: time and care invested when they were young laid the foundation of trust. Though there had been bad patches.... genuine care always strengthen bonds. If there is a strain, then effort must be put in to recover. And it really is worth it. :)
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Are all bond recoverable?

If the bond is true in the first place (but how does one tell?), and fundamentals have not changed... it is recoverable.

If it breaks...well, it did not stand the test of time. Either the bonds were not valued by at least one party; it was not laid on strong foundation; perhaps in the first place, there was no bond....

One can objectively analyse.... but it does not mitigate the regret and ache of loss... and only felt by the one that still valued the past bond....

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Of History Repeating Itself...

I had always wondered why history would repeat itself. Surely one should learn as one observe, especially if the true aspiration of leaders is for the welfare of their wards? Especially if the leader is an intelligent one.

For some time, I concluded that it is because in time past, knowledge was not so accessible. So one has less opportunity to learn from the experience of others. In fact, the first half of my life, computers are not common, much less internet. Reading books and listening if you have the opportunity were the only means of learning.

Things have since changed, with the advent of internet. Yes, the speed of knowing knowledge increase exponentially. But not wisdom. I realise. Definitely, not listening. Some "listen" to state their own view.

Knowledge only makes one wise when truly pondered, allowing for time to brew over, and reflected. Time is still the essence to wisdom. Unfortunately, in this 'mouse-click' generation, knowledge puffs up.

I remember asking someone not too long ago, why some things that could be learnt even by observation, why doesnt it take place? The reply was a wise one: You are assuming that all want to learn?

True, I was assuming a willingness to observe and learn. If you didnt think you have anything to learn; if you think what you think is always right.... would you even think there is a need to learn from any experience? My assumption was wrong.

I then realise, yes, this is often the case. Hence, history repeats itself. And the fact that this is a proverb of old, it has always been so, from of old. This is the norm.
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I also realise, just as the rich gets richer, and the poor gets poorer - a gap that cant be breached; similarly so for true knowledge. Those who learn, realised how little they know, they are genuinely humbled; they realise the need of counsel and wisdom. And they seek to know and learn even more. And a truly humbled person is rarely impatient with those who are struggling to learn, remembering their own humbling experience.

But for those who believe they know, believe they have what it takes to win more and more glory (whatever the required platitudes of humility), well, the gap between knowledge and wisdom gets wider and wider.

I also realised that the saying Failure is the Mother of Success is not just about perseverence to grasp success. It had a depth that only those who truly understands the cause of failure, and truly learn from it understands.

Again, being able to objectively analyse does not mitigate the pain to see things that need not be; that should not be.
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Meantime.... the move of my place of stay is finally imminent.... I have to look forward and plan ahead for the new place; for the Masters course; for a new schedule....

Above all, I must not lose focus of what I wish to do....not to live my life in vain.
I will always remember Emily Dickinson's short verse:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.