Family Ties

Two events stood out today:

In the first, I saw the closeness of a family bond; the foresight of a man who cared and prepared for his family, and provided well for them even when he was gone; the thoughtfulness and love in a family in the time of difficulty. I was very touched, and learnt from the fortitude and values of the family.

In the second, I came back after 4 hours of conversation very disturbed. Perhaps I had been too naive about human nature, and too hasty. I have had many conversations with this person for nearly 5 years now, and had always been very sympathetic with her unhappy family matters. There were many disturbing strands in the conversations...

But what troubled me most, was the statement that moving near my sister may not meet the expectations I may have in being near my closest relation. A move she said she found it hard to understand.

In the issue, we have many differing values, and found we disagreed on the needs of family ties especially toward the latter days; how much one should do for those we care. Perhaps, pathetically, it is because of her own circumstance. There were many many conflicting exchanges...

Unfortunately, it is not merely a conversation entanglement. I really had been hasty. Quite foolishly so. I now have an additional matter to resolve.... i have got myself into a corner... sigh! I dont know how I am going to get out of this...

This conversation shook me very badly, because i had not expect to see many things which really I should have. But judgement had been marred by sympathy.

It is not that I value this friendship so much that I cant break it. It is just that i dont want to cause hurt, and at such a time...

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Both events hinge on family ties.

But the crux is, the understanding of the true essence of love in a family.

Failed family instances which are many, do not negate what it should be. If looking after ones family to the end is not fundamental in ones value system, then truly education, both home and school have failed.

The good thing that come out of this really wasted time, (and the MESS that I have got myself into) is I am very much clearer of this:

I know my parents sacrificed alot for us and loved us, whatever the mistakes of the previous generation that did affect our lives. They would want sk and I to see each other to the end. And i know within their power, my nephews would want to do so too.

She kept telling me, you cant tell, and how would you know. True, no one will know what lies ahead. But as at this moment, I have totally no doubt of my sister's love and trust in me, and of my nephews good intent, which honestly I wont want to burden them either. But the intent is enough. And intent from family ties. No calculation. No whys. We are a family. That is the point.

And even as I write this, I realised i am very blessed. I cant say how things would be in the future, but I know we will do all we can to fulfil our duties to our loved ones.

This is what makes a family. Love.