2 Jan 2018

Sleep continues to be good, but I think its cos of the tcm. Went for tcm today. Appreciate the time and effort to see to all the discomforts. I know he feels I should not be pessimistic and I should not be worried about seeing the Prof next week. O well.

Cannot say it is a fruitful day. A cold day, and with Rosa here as well, and siblings dinner at night, basically, i have done nothing much. Was trying to work out about going NZ, but in the end I think, it would be pushing too much travelling. I should just focus on going UK in June.

I am no better or worse compared to yesterday. The urinary urge is there, but again its not unmanageable. So is the pelvic ache that usually subsides significantly after acupuncture. Bloatedness had been more pronounced the past week, but clears again with tcm so food intake is still maintained. Actually the burning mouth syndrome can be the most distressing as it can cause one to feel abnormal and unwell. I would pat myself on my back for not complaining and just describing the symptoms when zh asked me.

The just shall live by faith. Yes i must walk by faith and not by sight. Its true the foreboding warnings etc weigh in me. But I have a better hope, a better resurrection. I must live each day well, and must not be limited by the pronouncement of man. I know the doctors mean well and they are just describing the norm as is their duty to. I am not hoping for miracle, but I guess as zh says, we are not machines that have a set pattern. Each body responses differ.

I must be brave and walk on, and bear afflictions with patience. I just need to consider the sufferings of the Lord and then its all nothing. I hope, I hope for my cats sake, for ky and ls, I would have more days. As my days are, so shall my strength be. The Lord grant me mercies I pray.