1 Jan 2018

I am back. And glad to be. Whilst I did wish I had written some of my thoughts over the past months, yet it is needful to be quiet for awhile.

2017 has been a memorable year. From the moment I could do a semester of teaching at Nushs, I really felt the special mercies and kindness that God has shown to me. I admit I also wondered if this was an omen to the end in sight, especially when the recurrence occur in September. It was rough going through the agony of decision making and it was the colic episode and the hospitalisation that led to the decision finally made. Not that it was firmly made without wavering but it did become more certain. And after that, it was event after event, from Sound of Music, to Cameron Highlands/Penang to SB, P and C visit to Japan. And with the many meetups, via Dora I found Ms Wee, my Primary 6 teacher that cared for me! And the PTM at nushs led to meeting 1987 yl that led to the reunion of my first batch of form class. I cannot say how much all the reconnection, meetups of caring friends and colleagues had done for me. I ended 2017 on an even keel, with reflections, and moving forward. I also ended 2017 closing two 贝壳 stories, painful as it is, but bearable because they are the love of my life. Given the challenges ahead, not knowing if I would see the end of 2018, I must put all these behind and run the remaining race well. Most major things I need to do in 2017, I have done so. Making the video of the year is actually a very poignant, both happy and sad, and emotional for me. I thought capturing them this way is a positive note for my family and friends.

I have decided that I should continue a journal if possible daily of this last phase of my journey in this earthly pilgrimage for whatever days the Lord would give me, and here should be the place I should return for this has been my companion in many dark and lonely time and has helped me weathered so many rough patches. I just read my last post...somehow this just connect naturally to it, despite the 9.5 months gap. 

2018 has begun. I did not manage to get up to see the sunrise as intended, in any case, it was raining. Neither was the weather good enough to catch the sunset at Berlayer Creek. But it was a good walk. K very kindly accompanied on the last day of 2017 and on the first day of 2018 walking and taking dinner with me, a company I value greatly. 

I started 2018 afresh, writing emails to thank the pastors, grateful for Pastor Jeff response within the day;  then Judy's visit with her family, and the walk at BC. I am quite thrilled that MM contacted me over fb cos she saw my many likes of the Otter Watch and offer me to bring me see them! That is a lovely NY present! Pondering if I should go NZ in Jan/Feb....

Physically I don't feel bad at all. In fact quite well save for the heaviness and achiness on the left pelvic and the when rising from bed, sitting too long. Actually when occupied and with company, I did not think I have any illness. I admit fear does grip me if I think of the many what ifs ahead, but I truly trust the Lord my God with all my heart. And I truly feel I am really blessed and have so much so much more than many people. I must keep repose. 

Pastor Jeff wrote "The Lord continue to work in you both to will and to do His good pleasure." Yea, this is my prayer that this be so, that I will bear forth a faithful testimony of his goodness and mercies till the end of my days.

Thus end the first day of 2018.