pause...

somehow things and time seem to freewheel...abit too fast. I really need to pause, which I did, missing the clinic session in the afternoon today...

After 3 Jan, the right arm that I fell on, and which had an existing nerve impingement and rotary cuff tendon issue began to hurt quite badly. So, there were a few days of seeing to it, from acu (which didnt work) to polyclinic, xray, arcoxia, and muscle manipulation treatment which helped most. For some moments, i was a little concern about being 'handicap', zg took me for the xray, and abit sheepish that the injury was caused by trying to ride a bicycle at my age. Still, I am glad I did have that chance to cycle, and despite the pain, it is well worth it.

One often just see the external. Given my cautious nature, that was something I would never have undertaken had I had time to 'think'. There is something sweet about spontaneity. Also, that sense of delight, that of a child, is something that means alot to me. I do not deliberately try to get the childhood I never had. But, when unexpected moments allow me that experience of feeling the wind brushed past the face and being 'free', it is almost like a child, free and happy! So, the experience means alot to me.

Thankfully, after a couple of days, I was able to get a good range of movement and things got back to norm. But the norm becomes quite a stressful routine, as the tcm course gets tougher, with more work and clinic sessions. The question, how long do i want to continue is becoming more pertinent. There are still many things to learn. But, learning under the constant reminded of the end exams, as well, as a tight schedule that does not allow reflection, is not ideal. There are other issues that perturb me, and it is highly unlikely that I will see this to its end, which would mean another 3 years. Would I really practice? I doubt so. Its a question now at which point to discontinue....

My heart remain very much with teaching and learning, observing kiddies and how they learn. If I free my time, i am able to help more kiddos. In the long term, there are a couple of places that I would like to be more involved for the long run....

Meantime, the last two weeks have been quite occupied; O level results for N was much better than expected, and it was good to see her to discuss what future course. Managed to attend the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra at Botanics; meeting up with wc is always a pleasure; preparing for LK's and G's visit; and hoping here and there, to be of help to the young. And then, knowing M is deteriorating leaves one heavy hearted;

And SC's mother's passing last Friday....was glad to visit him with ld, oh, and hc. The bonds with many of them, especially, ld, I will always value. And many others, both teachers and students...am glad to have caught up with a few last dec, and probably more to come with the approaching cny...

So, yes, I need the time to pause. ...I no longer want to be swept by demands here, or there, especially those demand by systems for their own convenience, and 'live' and yet not live. I do not want to be unthinking, drifting along. I never want to lose sight of the welfare of persons; I have received much, really abundantly much. What little good that can be done, I want to, and place it above the valuation of this world. The things that can be seen, these are temporal. The things that cannot be seen, these are eternal.

The earth O Lord is full of thy mercies, teach me thy statutes!